Monthly Archive for August, 2010

Risk and Effort and Age and Regret

Published on August 27, 2010 in Uncategorized. 0 Comments

A dear friend of mine and I were exchanging emails about some of the concepts on which I frequently blog.  Peter Pan put his dreams in a drawer, and slowly they were pushed to the back of the drawer.  Why?  As Peter got older, risk and effort got in his way.  Why?  Age, maybe?

I like to blog about dreams and The Calling and taking risks with your career.  I really desire those I work with to pursue and find what they truly seek, what will help get them to “resonance,” that vocation that will blur work and play.  Yet, I find that friends my age (and I) sometimes (many times) look at those concepts as ones for youth.  We look at our high school children who have so much to look forward to and have such opportunity to change the world.  We talk with our college kids about their dreams and talents and how to pursue them.  And we talk in platitudes about how easy it is to take risks “at this point in your lives.”  Yet, we find it so difficult to heed our own advice.

During my career, I’ve had some great jobs—jobs I had to pull myself away from in the evening because I was having so much fun.  I’ve made some tough decisions along the way to uproot my family and move, because the opportunity ahead was so compelling, the risk ahead so tempting, the carrot ahead so enticing.  Nearly every move was following a career dream.  kauai 4 008Early the risks were small (the kids were small, the mortgage was small, the reputation was infant).  Over time the risks have gotten bigger, and the effort required larger.  And I’ve gotten older.  I’ve passed on a few things that would have afforded tremendous growth. I’ve had a couple of opportunities in my career that I explored in which the risk seemed too large, or the effort too great, so I passed on them.  Maybe it was the right decision. But I’ve also regretted it.

Regret is such an avoidable emotion.  Songfacts shows 69 songs about regret, so I’m not alone in this one.  But as Sally would say:  “Get over it.” Fortunately, my career pursuits have always been with a 50/50 joint venture partner (my wife Sally), who has supported each and every move, and led the charge with the kids, kauai 3 029 and kept me in check along the way (mostly!).  When I hit low points (work is overwhelming, or boring, or I’m not “feeling the love,” she whacks me across the head with a reality check.  Sometimes it’s been:  suck it up.  And many times, it’s been:  let’s go.  I think if you’re not as fortunate as me to have that force in your life, you still need some folks to travel the journey with you (see previous post:  Always A Bridesmaid.

Given modern technology and a little luck, I, at just about 50 years old, probably have another 25 years of work to go.  That’s just about the same amount of time I’ve been working, so my career is at its midpoint.  I’ve got so much to look forward to.  The risks are  going down (kids are older, mortgage is smaller, reputation still has upside).  The adventures are more exciting.  At this point it’s all about effort.

And that’s my point (even though it took six paragraphs to get here), my friend.  It’s not about regret.  It’s all about effort.  Let’s talk more.

Didst thou ever want to be a Pirate?

Published on August 24, 2010 in Uncategorized. 1 Comment

So says Peter Pan to Wendy in the children’s classic.  Peter Pan contains such good career advice.  Channel surfing last night, I caught the last half hour of the classic starring Robin Williams and Dustin Hoffman.  Here’s just a few of the insightful lines.

Pursue you  dreams.  Don’t wake up one day with your dreams in the drawer as something you pull out occasionally and admire”

Mrs. Darling: There are many different kinds of bravery. There’s the bravery of thinking of others before one’s self. Now, your father has never brandished a sword nor fired a pistol, thank heavens. But he has made many sacrifices for his family, and put away many dreams.
Michael: Where did he put them?
Mrs. Darling: He put them in a drawer. And sometimes, late at night, we take them out and admire them. But it gets harder and harder to close the drawer… He does. And that is why he is brave.

Think of life in adventures and pursue adventures.  When you pursue adventures, life happens.

Wendy: My unfulfilled ambition is to write a great novel in three parts about my adventures.
Aunt Millicent: What adventures?
Wendy: I’ve yet to have them, but they will be perfectly thrilling.

Don’t let others dictate your future.  Don’t let others tell you what you can and can’t do.  Be in control of your career.  And don’t live life only to have lots of regrets.

hook02  “You know you’re not really Peter Pan, don’t you?  This is all a dream.  When you wake up you’ll just be Peter Banning, a cold selfish man who drinks too much, is obsessed with success,  and runs and hides from his wife and children.”

 

 

Yet, his supporters reply:

“I believe in you.”

“I believe in you Peter”

“You are the Pan.”

“You are Peter Pan.”

“I believe in you Peter Pan.”

Don’t go through the career search alone. As the little girl says to Hook:  “You need a mother very, very badly.”

Finally, my favorite lines and to me the key insight to the whole movie.  Peter andpeter2 Hook are fighting the duel to the death:

Hook: And now, Peter Pan, you shall die.
Peter: To die would be an awfully big adventure.

This is easy for the “kid” Peter Pan to say.  But finally after the big adventure, he must go back home, and grow up.  Does the adventure have to end?   To end the move, the newly re-energized Peter Banning says to Wendy:

“To live would be an awfully big adventure.” 

Are you living life as if it’s an adventure?  If you’re not, you might be doing something wrong.

Marketing Career Discovery Rules at Darden

Published on August 19, 2010 in Uncategorized. 0 Comments

Today I get to talk about careers in Marketing to Darden first-year students at the Marketing Career Discovery Forum.  It’s actually one of my favorite things to do—I love to speak and teach, and I’ve been fortunate to have a great career in marketing, so it’s a good fit.image

I’m actually using this blog today as my last slide.  Marketing is so much more interesting now than it was when I started after graduating from Darden in 1987.  It’s almost embarrassing to say we were barely using computers, and we went down the hall to the computer room to get our syndicated data (there was no scanner data back then).  Today, only imagination limits how marketers might get their message to their target audiences.  For example, as I market an upcoming conference at Darden, my two greatest reach and most targeted communication vehicles are my Dean’s blog and his Twitter following.  And they are both free.

I know, I know, it’s not that easy, but easy is not my point.  My point is marketing is more about creative problem solving than ever before.  Marketing is more analytical than ever before—not is crunching the numbers, but in determining what the numbers say.  Marketing is more about communication than ever before—not writing ad copy, not doing speeches to management, but about telling the story of your brand in a compelling and empathetic way.

I’m convinced that marketing will be the skill, and career, of the future.  Come by and talk if you’d like to learn more, or debate the premise.

How’s Your Stress-o-meter?

Published on August 17, 2010 in Uncategorized. 2 Comments

Wow, last week was a killer.  A full week of teaching class.  Plus committee meetings. Plus International orientation.  This week promises to be even more so:  orientation week; Career Management class; speech to the First Year Class.  And boy, am I stressed.  Too much to do.  Too much uncertainty.  Several things really not breaking the right way.  Worried about people issues.  Sweating outcomes of key projects.  Way over budget and no control.

And I couldn’t be more in the zone.  Talk about resonance.  Talk about flow.  I’m there.  Stress-o-meter’s on 10.  Nothing steps up my performance like stress.  snorkeling See me stressed out here!

Darden has started.  Cases are coming.  Briefings start soon.  Recruiting is around the corner.  Extra-curricular is calling.  When’s the last time you exercised?  How’s your stress-o-meter? 

Are you choosing a career in business?  Get used to it.

There aren’t many business careers at the executive level to which most MBAs aspire, that aren’t significantly stressful environments.  Just look at the number of books, blogs and articles focused on dealing with stress in the workplace.  “Thriving is a stressful environment” better emerge as a theme for you if you want a career in business. 

Since I’m not an expert on stress, I did what any self respecting researcher would do, I googled it:  From About.com:

Stress is the body’s reaction to a change that requires a physical, mental or emotional adjustment or response.1

Specifically (even though this is in the “dying” part of about.com—ironic, I’d say), this definition is non-judgmental—stress is neither good nor bad, but it requires an adjustment.

I like how the American Institute of Stress depicts stress:

The Human Function Curve, American Institute of Stress, http://www.stress.org/topic-definition-stress.htm

Back to your career in business.  My supposition is this:  stress in the workplace is inevitable, so you might as well turn this seemingly negative bodily reaction into a positive one, so that you can thrive on stress rather than let it paralyze you.  I wish I could offer concrete strategies for pursuing this supposition.  The one strategy I can offer comes from Darden professor Jim Clawson and is detailed in his book, Powered By Feel:  How Individuals, Teams and Companies Excel.  Jim and Doug talk about choosing the way you want to feel:  “Focusing on feel requires an intentional, inside-out effort to manage my habits and tendencies.” 2  I highly recommend Jim’ book as a core strategy for making stress a positive influence in your life.

So, my question to you:  is your stress-o-meter starting to rise?  If it is, are you making some adjustments?  Are you staying away from the “hump”, and close to the comfort zone?  If not, seek help.  You’ll find lots of sources for strategies of dealing with stress.  But my favorite technique, just embrace it.  Just enjoy it.  Express it, and have it for lunch.  Choose to feel that the stress is just helping you peak.

So, let’s call this week “the Hump" for me.  Not that I’m trying to get over the “hump,” but the “hump” is certainly not a bad place for me to be.  For me, this week, the Stress-o-meter’s on 10, but so is the fun-o-meter.

  1. http://dying.about.com/od/glossary/g/stress.htm [↩]
  2. Clawson, James and Newburg, Doug.  Powered By Feel:  How Individuals, Teams and Companies Excel.  World Scientific, 2009. [↩]

Darden, Meet Ivo

Published on August 13, 2010 in Uncategorized. 1 Comment

Another year is starting at Darden, and my newest Darden Facebook friend is Ivo.  Ivo’s a consulting analyst from Bulgaria.   I’ve been privileged to have Ivo in my Personal Career Assessment Class (PCAP) this week, so when he invited me to be his Facebook friend, I was honored.  (Okay, I realize that he probably has 422 FB friends, and that I invited him to invite me, and I’m really not that special, but I’ll take what I can get.)Ivo Dimitrov

In some regards, Ivo is just one of many International students that make Darden special.  I’ve met many others already—from India, China, Mexico, Canada and Nigeria.  International students at Darden challenge our traditional ways of thinking, open our hearts to their cultures, and ask questions that cut quickly to the issues.

I feel privileged to have Ivo as a FB friend and a student because of what I’ve learned about him the last few days.  In addition to a lot of personal stuff that’s confidential to our class to share, I’ve learned that he is going to be a great contributor to Darden.  This week I invited the class to assist each other in developing “Life Themes” (Life Themes are enduring patterns in a person’s life which are uniquely theirs).  Ivo worked hard this week, like everyone, taking many self assessment instruments.  In addition, I could tell Ivo took a great deal of time outside of class, studying his data, inductively developing his life themes. What was special was Ivo’s willingness to help others in class, question and offer suggestions to others—all in an effort to help them improve their life themes.  That’s what makes Darden run—the willingness of students to help each other and contribute to each other’s learning.

Most importantly, I learned that Ivo is in charge of his career destiny.  He attended PCAP to get a jumpstart.  He accepted the premise that a good starting point for a career is a comprehensive picture of one’s self.  I suspect that Ivo will be a good networker.  I suspect he’ll be in charge of his own fate.  Though he didn’t tell me, I suspect he has a high internal Locus of Control1 and approaches life with an “Inside Out” mentality.  Inside/Outside I don’t suspect Ivo will be in my office complaining about his job search over the next two years.  I do think, though, and I look forward to, his being in my office often the next two years bouncing off ideas, seeking counsel, practicing his approach.  It’s exciting to see his enthusiasm.  It gives me energy, even at the end of class (inside joke for my class this week).

You see, I’m already invested in Ivo’s success because of his investment in himself.  And of course, he’s my new FB friend.

  1. The Locus of Control, designed by Julian B. Rotter, is based on social learning theory.  This graphic is used by permission from James G. Clawson.  The information is taken from:  Yemen, Gerry and Clawsom, James G., The Locus of Control, Darden School Foundation, 2003. [↩]

All for One

Published on August 4, 2010 in Uncategorized. 0 Comments

This week our Corporate Action Team (CAT) here at Darden held a book club meeting.  Our CEO of Executive Education, David Newkirk, a former SVP for Booz Allen, led our discussion of Andrew Sobel’s book, All for One.  (During his time with Booz Allen, David worked with Sobel and knows his work well.  He led hundreds of client relationships for Booz and is Darden’s resident expert.)  The purpose of reading the book and having the discussion was to raise our game in developing deep corporate relationships.  We had great discussions about becoming a trusted advisor to CEOs and other executives.  Darden has great relationships with many companies and executives, but our real finding, and what we spent a great deal of time discussing, was adding value to our relationships.  Our point of greatest value, we determined, is access to our faculty and their ideas.  We discussed plans for connecting our faculty more deeply with our executive partners.

What surprised me the most were the parallels of Sobel’s strategies for building trusted client partnerships with the advice usually given to people about networking. All for One: 10 Strategies for Building Trusted Client Partnerships I would recommend Sobel’s book to any student just starting an MBA program, or anyone starting a job search, for insights into building lasting relationships that will help you with both your job search and your career.  Sobel’s chapters on Developing Relationship Capital and Adding Multiple Layers of Value were particularly insightful.  Sobel talks about how to stay in touch with your contacts and offers four categories of activities:

  • ideas and content
  • connection
  • personal help
  • fun

In his chapter on Engaging New Clients, Sobel lists twelve relationship principles that are particularly insightful to networking.  Here are a few:

  • Build your network before you need it.
  • Become truly distinctive at something.
  • Be enthusiastic and passionate about your work.
  • Be generous with your time and wisdom.
  • Start a relationship by having an interesting conversation together, not by showing how brilliant you are.
  • Ask yourself, “how can I help?  Does this person have a particular interest, need, or goal that I can contribute to?”(1)

I’m not saying these things are easy, but what I learned was that I have a great deal to learn.  I’m taking many of these finding to heart, both in my personal networking and in my work here at Darden.  I encourage you to read Sobel’s book for more insights into your own relationship building or go to his Web site.

 

(1) Andrew Sobel, All for One:  10 Strategies for Building Trusted Client Partnerships, 2009

What your smile does

Published on August 3, 2010 in Uncategorized. 0 Comments

Last Friday I was starting one of those days, you know, when things just weren’t falling my way.  When I watered the flowers, the hose squirted my khaki pants.  When I made a sandwich for lunch, I ran out of ham.  On my schedule for the day was a discussion of how I was going to fix a project that I wasn’t managing as I was supposed to.  And two presentations to complete before the day was over.   I was beginning a little self-pity party and I wasn’t inviting anyone else.  As I walked into the Darden Career Development Center, I was greeted by Carrie, the CDC and Admissions Associate and her huge infectious smile.  She asked me about evening before, and my plans for the weekend.  Guess what happened?  I was totally disarmed.  Two hours later I ran into Bruno, one of Darden’s Audio/Video Techs.  He greeting me with a warm handshake and an ear-to-ear smile.  His smile made me more at ease and relaxed.  Guess what happened? I dumped the pity party idea for a productive attitude for the day.  I’m not the only one on which Carrie’s clip_image002smile has that affect—she’s won the Friend of the Student Award at Darden three semesters in a row.  And Bruno is known around Grounds as a fun-loving, dependable, never rattled guy.  But you know what, Carrie’s and Bruno’s smiles aren’t the only one I run into daily in the CDC and at Darden.  I watch our career consultants and our client services managers when they greet students and companies.  Big smiles.  I interact with many of the customer service departments at Darden.  Lots o’ smiles.

It occurred to me that one of the most frequent pieces of counsel I give students in networking and interviewing is “Smile more.”  If you smile when you greet a recruiter, or a networking partner, you:

  • Put the recruiter at ease
  • Project confidence
  • Seem comfortable with yourself
  • Portray a life that you are enjoying
  • Seem like someone with which he/she might want to work
  • Don’s start taking your self too seriously
  • Ease your own nervousness.

So, next time you come to visit me, or visit a recruiter, or a business associate, flash them those pearly whites.  You’ll be amazed what it does for you, and for me.