An Update: Dealing with Retirement

I retired a couple of years ago.  On that day, a senior faculty colleague asked how I planned to use my time going forward.  I said I have lots of things I want to do and don’t think it will be a problem occupying my time.  After a career requiring intense planning, I wanted to chill a bit and listen for the “still, small voice”[1] that would guide me in this next chapter of my life.  Planning is good; planning is necessary. But as Mike Tyson said, “Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.”[2]  Adverse surprises are a staple of retirement (for instance, a cancer diagnosis, loss of a spouse or friends, depression, ageism, and financial precarity).   In a life change as serious as retirement, clear priorities and adaptability have more to do with one’s satisfaction than chasing a bucket list or executing a rigid plan.  So I said to my faculty colleague, “When you retire, are you running from something or running to?  You must have a sense of purpose and vision.”  The colleague replied sadly, “That’s my problem.  I’m not gonna retire because I don’t know what I would run to.”

At the two-year mark, how is retirement going?  What am I running to?  My days feel satisfyingly packed.  My discretionary time flows into three channels:

• Learning. I try to learn new things and communicate them to others.  I agree with the Nobel Prize Laureate in Physics, Richard Feynman, that there is “pleasure in finding things out.”[3]  I read a lot (see my annual book recommendations).  I’m a member of two book groups that rock my world.  Beyond those groups, I try to engage with people who are interested in ideas and how the world works.  In the past year, I completed two online courses.  I have joined a club that has amplified a long-term hobby and have a couple of other long-neglected hobbies waiting for me.  And I have some long-term writing projects that continue to generate published articles—and one day, I hope books.  My challenge about learning is to balance breadth of curiosity with sufficient focus to achieve a sense of closure on what I am learning.
• Training. Watching friends and loved ones, and listening to health care specialists, teaches me that working on physical fitness must be a priority.  It is hard to fulfill priorities if you don’t have the energy and physical capability to do so.  A couple of good books have persuaded me that as one ages one must become very intentional about fitness:  see Younger Next Year by Henry Lodge and Chris Crowley.  Also see Outlive!  by Peter Attia and Bill Gifford.  Physical training clears the mind, lends new perspective, and ensures new energy.  And I hope it will extend my ability to learn and serve others.  A formal workout program with a trainer, dog-walking, and daily stair-climbing are parts of my daily routine.  To paraphrase Dr. Seuss, I feel like I’m in pretty good shape for the shape I’m in.[4]
• Serving. I serve on boards of three not-for-profit organizations.  I mentor informally some younger colleagues.  I have a circle of friends near and far, the engagement with whom I hope feeds their own sense of purpose.  I’m a husband, father, grandfather, father-in-law, uncle and granduncle in which capacities I try to teach, coach, encourage, and generally be present.  If you stop and listen carefully, you will hear the world around you appeal for help: not just volunteer organizations, but also family, friends, and strangers.  Helping others is a source of regular fulfillment.

In short, my retirement is going fine because I am “running to” things that matter to me.

The Average American Senior Citizen

As the saying goes, if you want to identify your priorities, look at your calendar.  Does the time spent by the average senior citizen display intentionality and “running to”?  A 2023 survey[5] of senior citizens raises more questions than it answers.

In this table, focus on discretionary time.  Personal care, household activities, meals, shopping, and paid work, collectively account for about 16-18 hours per day.  That leaves six to eight hours out of 24 in which to do whatever you like.  Well, the category, “Leisure and Sport” soaks up most of that time.

Given all the attention to the crisis of loneliness, it is interesting that the average senior citizen seems to devote rather little time to engaging with other people.  The sum of time spent in organizational activities, caring for others, and communicating with others is about an hour per day.  (The time in this category could be higher if we knew what “socializing” means, and how much time “socializing” accounted for in the Leisure and Sports category.)

What really surprised me is how little time is spent in educational activities, so small as to be almost unmeasurable.  (And this time could be higher if we knew how much time “reading” accounted for in the Leisure and Sports category.)

One can quibble with the survey about the crude categories of activity and the likely variation in hours depending on gender, educational attainment, and economic status.  But the big takeaway seems to be that senior years are about passive consumption rather than education, engagement, and service.  Is this intentional “running to”?

To be clear, advancing years and health problems can throw obstacles in the way of the purposeful senior citizen.  But I’ll bet that readers of this blog know people who, in their nineties and high eighties, continue to serve their vision and purpose through ongoing active engagement by note-writing, calling, Zooming, and in-person meetings.  Age and infirmities need not be barriers to a purposeful retirement.  Former UVA professor, Boots Mead, taught a beloved university seminar on music for years well after his retirement.  Charlottesville resident, Barbara Fried, has served numerous organizations through her board leadership, philanthropy, and wise counsel.  Former Senator (and Vice President) Hubert Humphrey, when hospitalized with terminal cancer, had himself wheeled up and down the wards, encouraging other patients to carry on.  One can be powered by purpose in one’s senior years.

Conclusion

Retirement is what you make of it.  The retirees who achieve satisfaction tend to be intentional about the way they use their time.  An active mind, a fit body, and a network of friends and family don’t just happen.  If you want a sharp mind, feed it.  If you want a fit body, exercise it.  If you want friends, be a friend.  If you want a family, nurture it.   Run to, not from.

To be clear, I don’t claim that I’ve got retirement all figured out.  Surprising developments can intrude just when things are feeling “normal.”  But that’s why an attitude of adaptability is so important.  You can make plans, as a way of expressing aspirations.  But be ready to adjust your course as circumstances change or the future becomes clearer.

[1] This phrase appears in writing a few millennia old.  It recounts the “retirement” of a wise person after a stressful career.  The “still small voice” directs that person to take action.  See 1 Kings 19:12 in the Bible.

[2] Tyson said, “Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.”  Or I could have quoted Carl von Clausewitz: “No plan survives first contact with the enemy.”  Dwight Eisenhower, “In preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable.”  I don’t think of retirement as “the enemy” or a boxing adversary.  But the idea of adaptability remains vitally important.  See Dwight Eisenhower, Remarks at the National Defense Executive Reserve Conference, November 14, 1957; https://www.eisenhowerlibrary.gov/eisenhowers/quotes.

[3] See Richard Feynman, 2005. The Pleasure of Finding Things Out New York, NY: Basic Books.

[4] Dr. Seuss, The Shape of Me and Other Stuff.

[5] U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. American Time Use Survey—2023 Results. Washington, DC: U.S. Department of Labor, 2024. https://www.bls.gov/news.release/pdf/atus.pdf?mod=article_inline.