{"id":2150,"date":"2025-06-24T12:35:29","date_gmt":"2025-06-24T16:35:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.darden.virginia.edu\/brunerblog\/?p=2150"},"modified":"2025-06-24T19:21:43","modified_gmt":"2025-06-24T23:21:43","slug":"an-update-dealing-with-retirement","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.darden.virginia.edu\/brunerblog\/2025\/06\/an-update-dealing-with-retirement\/","title":{"rendered":"An Update: Dealing with Retirement"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span class=\"has-dropcap\">I<\/span> retired a couple of years ago.\u00a0 On that day, a senior faculty colleague asked how I planned to use my time going forward.\u00a0 I said I have lots of things I want to do and don\u2019t think it will be a problem occupying my time.\u00a0 After a career requiring intense planning, I wanted to chill a bit and listen for the \u201cstill, small voice\u201d<a href=\"#_edn1\" name=\"_ednref1\">[1]<\/a> that would guide me in this next chapter of my life.\u00a0 Planning is good; planning is necessary. But as Mike Tyson said, \u201cEverybody has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.\u201d<a href=\"#_edn2\" name=\"_ednref2\">[2]<\/a> \u00a0Adverse surprises are a staple of retirement (for instance, a cancer diagnosis, loss of a spouse or friends, depression, ageism, and financial precarity). \u00a0\u00a0In a life change as serious as retirement, clear priorities and adaptability have more to do with one\u2019s satisfaction than chasing a bucket list or executing a rigid plan.\u00a0 So I said to my faculty colleague, \u201cWhen you retire, are you running <em><u>from<\/u><\/em> something or running <em><u>to<\/u><\/em>?\u00a0 You must have a sense of purpose and vision.\u201d \u00a0The colleague replied sadly, \u201cThat\u2019s my problem.\u00a0 I\u2019m not gonna retire because I don\u2019t know what I would run <em>to<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>At the two-year mark, how is retirement going?\u00a0 What am I <em>running to?<\/em>\u00a0 My days feel satisfyingly packed.\u00a0 My discretionary time flows into three channels:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Learning. <\/strong>I try to learn new things and communicate them to others.\u00a0 I agree with the Nobel Prize Laureate in Physics, Richard Feynman, that there is \u201cpleasure in finding things out.\u201d<a href=\"#_edn3\" name=\"_ednref3\">[3]<\/a>\u00a0 I read a lot (see my annual <a href=\"https:\/\/blogs.darden.virginia.edu\/brunerblog\/2024\/12\/recommended-books-for-2024\/\">book recommendations<\/a>). \u00a0I\u2019m a member of two book groups that rock my world. \u00a0Beyond those groups, I try to engage with people who are interested in ideas and how the world works. \u00a0In the past year, I completed two online courses.\u00a0 I have joined a club that has amplified a long-term hobby and have a couple of other long-neglected hobbies waiting for me.\u00a0 And I have some long-term writing projects that continue to generate published articles\u2014and one day, I hope books.\u00a0 My challenge about learning is to balance breadth of curiosity with sufficient focus to achieve a sense of closure on what I am learning.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Training. <\/strong>Watching friends and loved ones, and listening to health care specialists, teaches me that working on physical fitness must be a priority.\u00a0 It is hard to fulfill priorities if you don\u2019t have the energy and physical capability to do so. \u00a0A couple of good books have persuaded me that as one ages one must become very intentional about fitness:\u00a0 see <em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Younger-Next-Year-Strong-Smart-Until-ebook\/dp\/B07NMFRQ7W?ref_=ast_author_dp_rw&amp;th=1&amp;psc=1&amp;dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.54WeYqNFxkMLXu5Ncb3eFHp_k1BOl8dpWNf19aI7zjFISHnUkP0_r3dSG0UT1d9Zd_FfA1BeNyLjtUphEpUr-BGzvZYR9Mdr4Zlw7Xe96qIHfMTgvOY1sp1A_yHWXOuE-X4PRmdrlr8lVulr7AtIHwLQLUxuuBfbr6NAz_vI45tQj8e9glySMYKdOOiOXLCVJhpuiHFq0fvy2fRL6J8Jwr-St2QFzbkZ1kPsOFvyAzg.WdCmU1_fT7oajoC1-J0iG_lJTWVSx4IY7d5yy6mZU8s&amp;dib_tag=AUTHOR\">Younger Next Year<\/a> <\/em>by Henry Lodge and Chris Crowley.\u00a0 Also see <em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Outlive-Science-Longevity-Peter-Attia-ebook\/dp\/B0B1BTJLJN\/ref=sr_1_1?crid=140HWE1TYRY2F&amp;dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.YCoVup6aNSmbm_Mk8fjmeMz1Q_WyMZFWw7FUYq1sQW_TKyi_3sXdYdqFoZQtZR9-cXciDsmPULbFIuLbc-gcJlny9bpvAXDDOciGiO1YOE-9BcX-udo3gX0JXuGrNRJt2S11AtAj91a47fNqDsI1T9bXOWzUOhWP8JNZWyohBZ2tp0CtnsUFqdjhkBvpX2_rUyVu1IsdXVnFDohcPZMDGFb7GkuSMw5LACTzU9aXewU.EInub8mLGZNGGwaBn3ks_XXWH3Ub2sILcadcFWHHkYw&amp;dib_tag=se&amp;keywords=outlive+peter+attia&amp;qid=1750780502&amp;s=digital-text&amp;sprefix=Outlive%21%2Cdigital-text%2C89&amp;sr=1-1\">Outlive!<\/a><\/em> <em>\u00a0b<\/em>y Peter Attia and Bill Gifford. \u00a0Physical training clears the mind, lends new perspective, and ensures new energy.\u00a0 And I hope it will extend my ability to learn and serve others.\u00a0 A formal workout program with a trainer, dog-walking, and daily stair-climbing are parts of my daily routine.\u00a0 To paraphrase Dr. Seuss, I feel like I\u2019m in pretty good shape for the shape I\u2019m in.<a href=\"#_edn4\" name=\"_ednref4\">[4]<\/a><\/li>\n<li><strong>Serving. <\/strong>I serve on boards of three not-for-profit organizations.\u00a0 I mentor informally some younger colleagues.\u00a0 I have a circle of friends near and far, the engagement with whom I hope feeds their own sense of purpose.\u00a0 I\u2019m a husband, father, grandfather, father-in-law, uncle and granduncle in which capacities I try to teach, coach, encourage, and generally be present.\u00a0 If you stop and listen carefully, you will hear the world around you appeal for help: not just volunteer organizations, but also family, friends, and strangers.\u00a0 Helping others is a source of regular fulfillment.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>In short, my retirement is going fine because I am \u201crunning to\u201d things that matter to me.<\/p>\n<p><strong>The Average American Senior Citizen<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>As the saying goes, if you want to identify your priorities, look at your calendar.\u00a0 Does the time spent by the average senior citizen display intentionality and \u201crunning to\u201d? \u00a0A 2023 survey<a href=\"#_edn5\" name=\"_ednref5\">[5]<\/a> of senior citizens raises more questions than it answers.<\/p>\n<table>\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td colspan=\"3\" width=\"618\"><strong>Daily Time Use of Individuals Aged 65 and Older, Hours per 24-Hour Day<\/strong><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td width=\"294\"><strong>Time Category<\/strong><\/td>\n<td width=\"156\"><strong>Aged 65 to 74 Years<\/strong><\/td>\n<td width=\"168\"><strong>Aged 75+ Years<\/strong><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td width=\"294\"><strong>Personal Care<\/strong>, including sleeping and grooming.<\/td>\n<td width=\"156\">9.67<\/td>\n<td width=\"168\">10.18<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td width=\"294\"><strong>Eating and Drinking<\/strong><\/td>\n<td width=\"156\">1.34<\/td>\n<td width=\"168\">1.46<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td width=\"294\"><strong>Household Activities<\/strong>, including cooking, cleaning, home maintenance.<\/td>\n<td width=\"156\">2.66<\/td>\n<td width=\"168\">2.48<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td width=\"294\"><strong>Purchasing Goods and Services<\/strong><\/td>\n<td width=\"156\">0.81<\/td>\n<td width=\"168\">0.77<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td width=\"294\"><strong>Caring for and Helping Others<\/strong><\/td>\n<td width=\"156\">0.50<\/td>\n<td width=\"168\">0.24<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td width=\"294\"><strong>Paid Work<\/strong>, including full-time and gig economy work.<\/td>\n<td width=\"156\">1.42<\/td>\n<td width=\"168\">0.37<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td width=\"294\"><strong>Educational Activities<\/strong><\/td>\n<td width=\"156\">0.02<\/td>\n<td width=\"168\">Nil<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td width=\"294\"><strong>Organizational, Civic, and Religious Activities<\/strong><\/td>\n<td width=\"156\">0.39<\/td>\n<td width=\"168\">0.43<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td width=\"294\"><strong>Leisure and Sports<\/strong>, including watching TV, reading, and socializing.<\/td>\n<td width=\"156\">6.71<\/td>\n<td width=\"168\">7.57<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td width=\"294\"><strong>Telephone Calls, Mail, and Email<\/strong><\/td>\n<td width=\"156\">0.23<\/td>\n<td width=\"168\">0.29<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td width=\"294\"><strong>Other Activities Not Elsewhere Classified<\/strong><\/td>\n<td width=\"156\">0.24<\/td>\n<td width=\"168\">0.21<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>In this table, focus on <em>discretionary time<\/em>.\u00a0 Personal care, household activities, meals, shopping, and paid work, collectively account for about 16-18 hours per day.\u00a0 That leaves six to eight hours out of 24 in which to do whatever you like.\u00a0 Well, the category, \u201cLeisure and Sport\u201d soaks up most of that time.<\/p>\n<p>Given all the attention to the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.gse.harvard.edu\/ideas\/usable-knowledge\/24\/10\/what-causing-our-epidemic-loneliness-and-how-can-we-fix-it\">crisis of loneliness<\/a>, it is interesting that the average senior citizen seems to devote rather little time to engaging with other people.\u00a0 The sum of time spent in organizational activities, caring for others, and communicating with others is about an hour per day.\u00a0 (The time in this category could be higher if we knew what &#8220;socializing&#8221; means, and how much time \u201csocializing\u201d accounted for in the Leisure and Sports category.)<\/p>\n<p>What really surprised me is how little time is spent in educational activities, so small as to be almost unmeasurable.\u00a0 (And this time could be higher if we knew how much time \u201creading\u201d accounted for in the Leisure and Sports category.)<\/p>\n<p>One can quibble with the survey about the crude categories of activity and the likely variation in hours depending on gender, educational attainment, and economic status. \u00a0But the big takeaway seems to be that senior years are about passive consumption rather than education, engagement, and service.\u00a0 Is this intentional \u201crunning to\u201d?<\/p>\n<p>To be clear, advancing years and health problems can throw obstacles in the way of the purposeful senior citizen.\u00a0 But I\u2019ll bet that readers of this blog know people who, in their nineties and high eighties, continue to serve their vision and purpose through ongoing active engagement by note-writing, calling, Zooming, and in-person meetings.\u00a0 Age and infirmities need not be barriers to a purposeful retirement.\u00a0 Former UVA professor, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.meadendowment.org\/mr-mead\/\">Boots Mead<\/a>, taught a beloved university seminar on music for years well after his retirement.\u00a0 Charlottesville resident, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.coopercenter.org\/team\/barbara-fried\">Barbara Fried<\/a>, has served numerous organizations through her board leadership, philanthropy, and wise counsel.\u00a0 Former Senator (and Vice President) Hubert Humphrey, when hospitalized with terminal cancer, had himself wheeled up and down the wards, encouraging other patients to carry on.\u00a0 One can be powered by purpose in one\u2019s senior years.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Conclusion<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Retirement is what you make of it.\u00a0 The retirees who achieve satisfaction tend to be <em>intentional <\/em>about the way they use their time.\u00a0 An active mind, a fit body, and a network of friends and family don\u2019t just happen.\u00a0 If you want a sharp mind, feed it.\u00a0 If you want a fit body, exercise it.\u00a0 If you want friends, be a friend.\u00a0 If you want a family, nurture it.\u00a0 \u00a0Run <em>to,<\/em> not from.<\/p>\n<p>To be clear, I don\u2019t claim that I\u2019ve got retirement all figured out.\u00a0 Surprising developments can intrude just when things are feeling \u201cnormal.\u201d\u00a0 But that\u2019s why an attitude of adaptability is so important.\u00a0 You can make plans, as a way of expressing aspirations.\u00a0 But be ready to adjust your course as circumstances change or the future becomes clearer.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"#_ednref1\" name=\"_edn1\">[1]<\/a> This phrase appears in writing a few millennia old.\u00a0 It recounts the \u201cretirement\u201d of a wise person after a stressful career.\u00a0 The \u201cstill small voice\u201d directs that person to take action.\u00a0 See 1 Kings 19:12 in the Bible.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"#_ednref2\" name=\"_edn2\">[2]<\/a> Tyson said, \u201cEverybody has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.\u201d\u00a0 Or I could have quoted Carl von Clausewitz: \u201cNo plan survives first contact with the enemy.\u201d\u00a0 Dwight Eisenhower, \u201cIn preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable.\u201d \u00a0I don\u2019t think of retirement as \u201cthe enemy\u201d or a boxing adversary.\u00a0 But the idea of adaptability remains vitally important.\u00a0 See Dwight Eisenhower, Remarks<em>\u00a0at the National Defense Executive Reserve Conference<\/em>, November 14, 1957<em>; <\/em>https:\/\/www.eisenhowerlibrary.gov\/eisenhowers\/quotes.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"#_ednref3\" name=\"_edn3\">[3]<\/a> See <a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Pleasure-Finding-Things-Out-Richard\/dp\/0465023959\/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2EQTQXE593YNI&amp;dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.nYS6iL_rM96zP477jSDwFmLft8mjzFpPDRli5q8J6CA2k7ohvrRoWBkvZW7GYoU_qONE_JYK6Y947FHg2axGmx1j2xEAbsTgT8OBfh6UQ8sNqUfAyyztHCZ0KYR-x2dlb4ihW8VMZxenrdMyrpOjZikFHaDJ1j4fu99E7QMzSYHIkhHH5iZ5x-CYtYOKL8zJYCLX3KUwpZRFLj-ABirex_iORoQeHEaGOiKzAjySh5o.Aqcm5IF-ST36lK5golNJGAEy28W9GzlGX2_jHSEh34M&amp;dib_tag=se&amp;keywords=richard+feynman+the+pleasure+of+finding+things+out&amp;qid=1748715534&amp;sprefix=Richard+Feynman+The+pleasure+of+%2Caps%2C165&amp;sr=8-1\">Richard Feynman, 2005. <em>The Pleasure of Finding Things Out<\/em> New York, NY: Basic Books<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"#_ednref4\" name=\"_edn4\">[4]<\/a> Dr. Seuss, <em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Shape-Other-Stuff-Bright-Early-ebook\/dp\/B00ESF28N0\/ref=sr_1_1?crid=UYLLKJ6XCDAJ&amp;dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.IDZqHbmboW6FUoLkYeuBRpBnq0jLu0fv1Q8-n5O1fnM.DDUhYh5UraZKh9K-z_UiUP0Sfo2wJj-JN6jDZ3r3w5A&amp;dib_tag=se&amp;keywords=Seuss+The+shape+of+Me+and+Other+Stuff&amp;qid=1750780988&amp;s=digital-text&amp;sprefix=seuss+the+shape+of+me+and+other+stuff%2Cdigital-text%2C76&amp;sr=1-1\">The Shape of Me and Other Stuff<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"#_ednref5\" name=\"_edn5\">[5]<\/a> U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics.\u00a0<em>American Time Use Survey\u20142023 Results<\/em>. Washington, DC: U.S. Department of Labor, 2024.\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.bls.gov\/news.release\/pdf\/atus.pdf?mod=article_inline\">https:\/\/www.bls.gov\/news.release\/pdf\/atus.pdf?mod=article_inline<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I retired a couple of years ago.\u00a0 On that day, a senior faculty colleague asked how I planned to use my time going forward.\u00a0 I said I have lots of&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":18,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2150","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v20.10 (Yoast SEO v27.8) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>An Update: Dealing with Retirement - Robert F. 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